Minus me

Today was the day I set for myself to start getting back into a shape that is not round and jiggly. Ugh! 🙂 And as much as I hate the pain and anguish of starting to exercise again and all that, I hate feeling like a disgusting blob even more! It wasn’t this difficult for me to lose weight after Myles because 1) I didn’t gain as much and 2) he was nursing. *sigh* Oh well. If determination and hard work can do it then I’ll still be able to get back to my “normal” self. 😉

My ultimate goal is to lose 40 pounds! Ack! I won’t give you a starting weight, that’s too depressing. 😉 But to get back to pre-preg weight I still need to lose 25 and to get back to where I really want to be will be the extra 15. We’ll see how it goes but that’s the basic break down.

So here’s the plan:

1) Exercise, of course!
I’m going to start up my INSANITY program again. Today, in fact is when it starts. I don’t really want to do it. I’m not looking forward to it, but I’m telling you about it so that I will feel that pressure to actually follow through. I know it’s going to kick my hiney and that won’t be fun, but I’ve been having a hard time actually finding time to get out and walk (my preferred method of exercise) so I need to be doing something indoors. There’s no way I’ll actually be able to keep up with the level of that workout to begin with, but slow and steady wins the race. I’m also going to try to go for a walk/jog 3 days a week. This is dependent on when Stuart gets home from school, which is why I”m leaving it at 3 for now. I can’t go unless he’s home to watch the kids, but should be able to on Sat/Sun and at least 1 weekday.

2) Portion control.
I can’t say that I’m going to diet because every time I’ve decided to diet the moment I begin the only thing I can think about is food! What I am going to be doing is portion control. NOT filling my plate at meals. Drinking LOTS of water. Making SMARTER choices about food. For example, if I truly need that “crunchy” aspect to my lunch, instead of filling it with chips or crackers, using carrot sticks or apples. See?

3) Accountability.
There have been so many times that I’ve wished for a “walking buddy” or someone to workout with because I’m SO much better at sticking to it when there’s someone else involved. BUT that’s just not going to happen here and now. So I’ve decided that cyber-land will be my accountability. I’m going to have a “weekly weigh in” on Fridays and post how much or IF I’ve lost anything that week. I will also confess how many days I’ve exercised. 😉 I’m hoping that this will help.

I know I have a lot of weight to lose right now, but it’s more about feeling good than the actual number on the scale. I felt pretty good at my pre-preg weight though I still wanted to lose some. Right now I’m not feeling good. I can’t fit into my clothes, despise every picture of myself, and just have general low confidence. I never really thought about how much weight and feeling good can effect your confidence, but it’s true!! Looking back I realized that after I got married and gained a little weight that my confidence took a serious nose dive right off the bat! Now I’d totally feel skinny to be back at that place, funny how perspective changes! 🙂 But health wise I just don’t think it’s worth being run down and lethargic all the time. It takes a LOT of energy to keep up with my little family, and I think it takes TOO much energy for me not to exercise and do what I can to stay healthy.

Anyway, those were some kind of rambling random thoughts. But I thought that just putting it out there would help me follow through. 🙂 SO on that note, I’m going to go have some teriyaki chicken and a grapefruit for lunch! Toodles!

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