I read this article today and it got me thinking. Again. 🙂 Because these thoughts have passed through my soggy head before. I’ve been “in ministry” my whole life basically and have watched this “expectation” thing happen over and over again. I’ve seen it in churches, christian schools, college, and camp. Oh yes. There’s often this expectation that if the hubby is “in ministry” that the wife is a bonus. I’ve seen guys who were looking for gals to marry who would “enhance” their ministry with their own talents like piano playing, or amazing voice, or the right connections because of parents. That would make me sick actually. Yeah, grrrrrr! But because of those very kids of exceptions girls I know would begin to feel inferior to their husband’s calling if they did not have some of those very “ministry enhancing talents.” When really, if God wants you to be “in ministry” He’ll give you what you need for that. There isn’t a list somewhere in the heavens that says, “Minister’s wife MUST play piano, yadda, yadda, yadda.” No! And in fact why should we have the expectation that if the man is somehow involved in ministry that it’s “okay” to lay a bunch of ministry burdens on the wife as well?
I mean, I love being involved in the camp ministry with Stuart. I do wish that I could be more involved WITH HIM in it. However right now I have 2 other little men in my life that take up, oh I’d say 99% of my time. 🙂 I realized after our first summer with camp that if I was going to be involved with camp as much as I WANTED to be, let alone what others may expect me to be, then I will be neglecting my children. That is simply unacceptable. Since then I have, with Stuart’s help, worked on finding a balance so that I CAN find that fulfilling involvement with camp without heaping on the guilt of leaving my kids to someone else’s care extensively. It’s a constant back and forth, but I think we are doing okay.
Still I do personally struggle with those feelings of “not enough” when there are other people who have exorbitant expectations for me, or anyone married to a “minister.” The conclusion that we’ve come to, Stuart was solid on this before I even was, is that it’s not right. Like the lady in the article points out, Doctor’s wives aren’t expected to scrub up next to their husbands, why should the wives of people who’s “job” is ministry be expected to do the same??? Makes no sense, yet it’s prevalent thinking…. at least in circles where I roam. 🙂
So what do you think?? I’d love to get some feedback on these thoughts.