Not Me

I did not take off for the weekend, for the express purpose of visiting my mom for her birthday then ditch her with 2 wild little boys so that I could have a couple hours peace and quiet. 😉 Not me!
I did not spend part of that peaceful time browsing through the zillions of bead selections marked 50% off at Hobby Lobby. That magical number just makes me think that I can buy twice as many and be getting a bargain! Go figure. I’d never cave in to that marketing scheme. Not me!
I did NOT spend 15 minutes in the FREEZING cold out of doors banging on the storm door and the sliding glass door because while I was packing up the car my toddler locked me out of the house! Oh no! NOT me! And it certainly wouldn’t have happened as I was packing up the vehicle to go to church with my parents on Sunday morning. And it would not have necessitated me crawling through the crack in the gate (because it was chained shut) in my LONG skirt to get to the backyard. Also I wouldn’t have found out later that one of the keys that I held in my hand would have unlocked said gate, but of course didn’t unlock the back door. So I wouldn’t have crawled back through the gate to the front of the house banging on the door, as if that would unlock it, and yelling at my son to “turn it the OTHER way” until he calmly looked at me through the window and said, “Stop screaming, Mommy.” Ha! Not me! I didn’t have a stroke of brilliance once again and crawl back through said gate to the back of the house and bang on the sliding door till 2 very curious little monkeys came back there, (only took like 5 minutes, what in the world were they doing?) and finally convince my 2 yr old to “pick up the stick” that held the door shut, very tightly I may add, because I had tried that avenue before! I would not have finally got inside the house all disheveled and very out of sorts march my boy to the front door, point at the offending lock and say, “No-no! Never touch this!!” As if he would ever remember. Not me! 😉 By the way, I was not nearly 20 minutes late for church that morning either. 😉
Not me!

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