Hangin’ on to my baby

I think that what I’m going through is “normal” at least according to all the mommies I’ve talked to who have more than one kid.  I’ve read/heard often enough that you wonder how in the world you’ll be able to love another one as much as the first.  I already love our “new” baby, but lately have been noticing that I’m trying to “hang on” to “baby” Qade a little bit more.  I talk about him being such a big boy, and he is!  It strikes me over and over how BIG he is becoming, not just height/weight wise, but big acting.  He seems so grown up so fast!  And knowing that we have a little one shortly coming makes it seem even faster for my lil bubba to grow up.  I know that as soon as baby 2 arrives, Qade will seem even more “big” because of how itty bitty baby brother will be.  So lately I’ve caught myself holding him longer when we’re rocking for bedtime, or coddling him a bit more than necessary when he gets a “boo-boo,” reading “Tickle One Baby” 4 times in a row just because I like to have him sit on my lap.  It’s like I’m trying to make it last somehow.  I’m NOT sorry that we’re having our munchkins close in age, and I know that Qade will not be deprived of parental attention once the baby comes, but I do know that it will be different.  And while we’ll all adjust to a new, even better, level of normalcy, right now I’m just a little attached to what we have.  I can’t have it both ways, and deep down I wouldn’t want too, but sometimes sentimental me has a hard time thinking about changing.  Children make us emotional, I’ve decided. Tonight since I couldn’t sleep, I was rocking Qade cause it sounded like he woke up with a bad dream.  Even though he had already calmed himself down, I got him out of his bed, and just spent some time rocking.  Looking at his little sleepy face just reminded me again of what a great blessing I’ve been given.  And yes, sometimes I get a little emotional when I think about my kid(s) but the biggest emotion is joy, and I’d never ever trade it for anything!!!

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