RazNoggle

I was a first born, Stuart was a first born…. how we ever got married is a cosmic mystery. Now that we have our own first born I’m noticing some things that I want to change or at least be aware of. First borns HAVE to be the guinea pigs to an extent. I had OODLES of kid experience before having my own… but it’s a whole different ball of wax when it’s your own screaming bundle of joy. All the babysitting, teaching, day care, or nannying experience in the world just doesn’t “cut it” when it finally comes time to deal with your own offspring. Don’t get me wrong, it HELPS, and I draw from those experiences often. I’m just saying it’s different.
So recently, as in today, I was thinking about my Monkey #1. I think of him as a big boy, and he is…. sort of. As a first child I understand that there are a lot of expectations put on first kids that maybe they can’t live up to. I find myself doing that with Qade somewhat. That’s one thing I want to change. I realize that he is as smart as a whip, but I can’t let the fact that he’s learning at such a rapid pace fool me into thinking that he’s capable of more. He is just 2 and a half. That’s still a baby! The experiences that he is having are still all very new. And even thought he is starting to grasp some life skills and reasoning skills doesn’t mean that he always knows how to put those to use. I need to be more gentle in guiding him in the right way than stern and disciplinary when he doesn’t “get it.”
This came to mind today after he woke up from his nap hysterical. When I went in his room he was just sitting in a heap by his little bed crying. I asked him what was wrong and to use his words to tell me, but he couldn’t. Maybe he didn’t really know what was “wrong.” Maybe he doesn’t yet understand the concepts of ’scared’ or ’sad’ or just plain ol’ not feeling well. So I sat on the floor with my little big guy in my lap and we just rocked together. The crying stopped, but he didn’t budge. He needed to be the baby for a few minutes, and just be with his mommy.
Don’t get me wrong. I do still strongly believe that he needs to be held accountable for what he does know. And he’s learning along with us, what works and what doesn’t.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I want to keep my expectations to the level of his ability. For example with our recent bought of potty training, I think rather than trying to “teach” him this new life skill, I was demanding that he do something because I thought he could. I know this will be somewhat of a struggle for me because I tend to be a “high expectations” person. Still, I want to remember that my little lad is just 2, he is still learning, and to tap into his strengths and support those rather than be constantly harping on his ‘weaknesses.’ He is such a caring little boy. If I so much as sneeze or cough, he will ask, “You okay, Mommy?” And when role playing with his cow, Buford, he is very nurturing and caring and considerate. Those are strengths. Yes, he has issues with whining, and yes he needs to learn to control his reactions, but that will be an ongoing process that we’ll work on day by day. If I keep my expectations in line with his abilities I think it will alleviate unfair burden on him, and unnecessary strain on our relationship.
Just some thoughts.

Ya ever have those days when you feel lucky just to get a chance to go to the bathroom, never mind by yourself? Yeah, it was one of those days here, and rather than regurgitate it all for you I’ve decided to talk about something else, funny.
We picked up our Christmas tree last Sunday after church. We get “real” trees, but we just buy them from Home Depot, so I’m not sure how fresh it is, but it does smell good. Qade was just waking up from a little car doze that he had when we stuffed the tree in the back of our vehicle. The tip of it’s branches came up between the boys seats, and they thought it was the coolest thing we’d ever had in there! They would reach up and gently (I was amazed at that!) touch the needles and the netting that the tree was in. As soon as we put it in Qade called it a “something” tree. I couldn’t understand what he was saying, but he said it exactly the same several times. I finally told him it was our Christmas tree. He repeated “Cismas tree” but then again called it the other thing. Hmmmm…. dunno. My brother calls his language “Qade-ian” and we’re not all fluent in it. Most of the time people look to me for translation, but I draw a blank from time to time too.
Anyway, we put the tree up right away on a table in our living room to help keep little fingers from redecorating the tree. The boys admired it, but were less impressed than I expected them to be. Especially Myles. I was expecting him to be at it from the get go, but he barely gave the new occupant of the house a nod. Weird! Qade kept insisting that the tree was that same whatever-it-is and I finally asked him if he was saying “sweet potato” tree. Ha! No, he said it again, and just a wee bit clearer and it was “Super Critter Tree!” The lightbulb came on in my brain! (finally) He has a Merser Mayer “Little Critter” book about this bully who “Super Critter” puts in the top of the tallest tree till he says I’m sorry fifty million times…. or something like that. The “tree” that the bully was on is a pine. Get the connection? I finally did! Amazing how my little lad’s mind works. I’m convinced that he stores up information way more than I give him credit for. He has recently astonished me by knowing the letters O and A and the number 2. I haven’t been working with him on his letters or numbers, but he’s still picking up on them. He has a knack for drawing circles and today when Stu and I were admiring his artwork we noticed that several of the circles had eyes, a nose and mouth!!! Speaking of coloring, Qade has finally settled on being a righty. We were sure for a while that he was going to go left, and he still does prefer to use his left when he eats, but coloring is all right now. Go figure.
So there’s my funny story for your entertainment. It’s freeeeeeezzzzzziiiiiinnnnng cold here, and I have an ongoing drama with my birdbath that I’ll share with you later. Oh the funny things that life brings. Hope you all are ready for a fabulous weekend. I plan to get the rest of my gifts wrapped and prettied up, and I still have a little more “project” ing to do, so hopefully the lads will cooperate and I can do some of that tomorrow. Toodles my friends!

Qade goes through his Buford jags. Days where Buford has to be involved in EVERYTHING. I knew it was coming on. Yesterday, Qade “changed” Buford on the rocking chair ottoman while I was getting Myles changed first thing in the morning. Then Buford graced us with his presence at the breakfast table. In fact he was occupying MY spot, so I had to politely move him to a different seat.
This morning the ‘unders’ that I had put on Buford, per Qade’s request, were pretty much hanging off. He is a rather small cow after all. So Qade decided that Buford “did pee-pee in unders” and they needed to “go in dryer.” I convinced him instead to put the perfectly clean unders in the laundry basket. Then I assisted Qade in taking Buford potty. I figured if Qade were to attempt it on his own, we’d have a wet with toilet water cow, and Buford would find himself in the washer! After Buford’s successful trip to the bathroom, and Qade did intently watch to make sure Buford did his business, we took him back to the room and put on an old size 2 diaper. Qade originally asked that Buford wear a pull-up, but I knew poor Buford would be swimming in that thing, so we compromised. Now Buford is “sitting” comfortably on the couch waiting to watch “Wall-e” ha ha ha!! He’s wearing an 18mo onesie since Qade removed his overalls to be washed yesterday. Pretty funny!
It makes me smile to watch my little lad indulge his imagination. And even though I have a HUGE list of to-do’s on this Saturday (what gives???) it was worth it to take a little “time off” to role play with Buford. And if it helps Qade get the whole potty thing down better, then I’d take Buford potty EVERY day!