RazNoggle

So lately I’ve been making some changes in my household cleaning and personal maintenance routines that I thought I’d share. Probably none of it will be “new” to anyone, but it might pique your interest in some of this stuff too. Especially when I tell you that you can save OODLES of moo-lah when you make small changes. Okay, well it won’t be oodles right away, but over the long run it does add up.

One thing I’ve been doing is to use vinegar a lot more in my cleaning routines. I use it in my rise cycle when washing clothes instead of fabric softener, and it works great!! And lest you think we’re all walking around in vinegar flavored clothes, it rinses completely out with not even a trace of the smell. In fact it does a good job of eliminating other unpleasant smells with a side benifit of keeping your washer a lot cleaner! So give that one a whirl if you dare. It really does work well.

Vinegar also works good as just an all purpose cleaner for mopping, counter tops, bathrooms, you name it! Well… nonporous surfaces. I’m sure you could guess that though! I’m going to work into using it more once I use up all the rest of my chemical products. Yes, I have a hard time wasting things even to avoid all the icky chemicals that they now say not to use. Ha! But really if you hop online and do a little browsing about vinegar you’ll find all kinds of amazing uses for it.

One of my favorite, that I’m so glad we found, was using it on bug bites to kill the sting! Myles has had his share, poor dude, of nasty bites! First it was the hornet that stung him a couple of times, and then he’s recently had run-ins with some red ants. As soon as I can get the bug off I dab on vinegar to the spot and the sting immediately stops. At least the crying immediately stops so I assume the stinging does too. Try it next time you have a bug bite. It works!!

So that’s some of it, then not to long ago a friend of mine posted on her blog an experiment she’d been doing with making herself stop pre rinsing dishes before loading them in the dishwasher. I have to admit that I was a pretty diehard pre-rinser! I think it had something to do with washer that were honestly pathetic! But we got a new dishwasher this year so I thought, hey, I should give this a whirl! After all what’s the point of having a dishwasher if you have to “wash” the dishes before you wash them?? Emily pointed out something that she had read about just how much water you really waste when you pre-rinse dishes and it was something like 28 gallons, so there you go, even more incentive. Well, I experimented with it and think that I’ve found the balance. I realized a couple of things. One, I can’t even slightly overload the dishwasher or stuff won’t come clean! That’s probably fine though, I’m sure it’s better for me to do smaller loads. It usually works out for me to do 2 loads of dishes a day, especially now that I’ve got extra kids in the house. And two, I also learned that SOME things just have to be rinsed out first. For example, and this is the biggest one, the pan I cook oatmeal in will NOT get clean in the dishwasher unless it’s mostly rinsed out. I’m pretty sure that somewhere in time oatmeal was used as a base for cement, so no big surprises there. But I have really enjoyed the time it saves in not pre-rinsing dishes and also the happy feeling of not using all that water for nothing. Really the dishes have been coming out clean and sparkling, and I finally have a dishwasher that lives up to it’s name!!!

Next one of my good friends (I claim her for a sis) has started this awesome blog called Beauty and Inspiration. I’ve gotten a lot of great tips and ideas from her. This one I ‘discovered’ before she published her post, but I didn’t try it till she had been the guinea pig first. It’s been several weeks since I used regular shampoo now because I’ve been using a baking soda wash!! It’s supposed to be mucho better for your hair because you’re not constantly subjecting it to a lot of harsh chemicals that are used in shampoos. I have to tell you though, that while I’ve read of a lot of people have really great success with this method, I’m not so in love with it. Honestly it works as far as getting your hair clean, but it doesn’t make my hair feel OR look nice. I’ve been struggling with pretty dry icky hair anyway through this pregnancy (a friend told me it’s because when you are having a girl she “steals” your beauty) so my hair needed something more than what the baking soda could do for it. I also added an apple cider vinegar rinse to the routine, yes another amazing use for vinegar and it does a great job of making your hair pretty and shiny, but even that didn’t seem to help as much as I needed. SOOOO not one to be daunted I searched online for other “non shampoo” options and found to my delight a co-wash method which is basically conditioner only wash. It had some interesting tips and testimonials, of course, but sounded like something that my hair could really use! So last night I tried it with a twist. They say to use a CUP of conditioner on your hair, and I just can’t really see doing that, plus to leave it in for 10-15 min. Well our water pressure won’t stand up to a shower like that so I made some modifications. First, I added a tablespoon of baking soda to the conditioner, which I used about 1/2 cup. Then I also added about a tablespoon of some coconut oil that I just got in the mail and am already crazy about!! I stirred up my concoction and plastered it into my mid-back length hair. I think part of the reason I wasn’t so thrilled with just the soda wash was because of the length of my hair. It caused many more tangles and and over all ickyness to the long part. So anyway, after my co-wash (sorta) I did use a vinegar rinse to end it, and yes the smell rinses right out, not an issue. I could tell right away that my hair felt MUCH better! Ahhhhhhh!!! I could actually run my fingers through it without snags! Yes!!! I mean, what’s the point of long hair if you, or your hubby , can’t run your fingers through it?? So the verdict this morning after my hair had dried is that while I’m going to have to tweak the measurments a little, I love it!!! My hair is super soft and very shiny and just feels so much better! I’m enjoying it being long today which I haven’t lately and was contemplating something drastic!! I think the coconut oil was a little too much so I’ll save it for “deep conditioning” treatments from now on. Besides I have another use for that!

On the Beauty and Inspiration blog I mentioned there was also a post about OCM (oil cleansing method) that I’ve seen in several other places too. Apparently a lot of this “old” stuff is coming back and a good thing too!! It’s amazing the skin/hair issues we have with all the “products” we use to prevent those very things! Anyway, this is basically to use oil to clean your face. You get a dab of quality oil like olive or coconut and gently massage it into the skin of your face and neck for a few minutes. Wow, is it ever relaxing!! I thought I would hate it because I’m not a huge fan of that “greasy” feel on my face. I bought the coconut oil for this express purpose because I don’t care for the smell of olive oil on me. It didn’t feel heavy or greasy at all, it felt great!!! Then when you’ve finished the massage you gently wipe it off with a warm cloth! I couldn’t get over how good it made my face feel!! It’s still as soft as can be… probably softer than I ever even remember it being! And this morning it looked very healthy and even, if that makes any sense. Still really soft too, I can’t stop touching it! Ha! So I’m sold on the OCM for sure!! The smell of the oil was awesome and I felt so relaxed after doing it. I too often brush off “pampering” myself because I feel too tired from papering the lads all day. Ha ha (excuse the diaper pun!) But just a tiny thing can make such a big difference!!! I’d like to thank my friends, Kilika and Emily for helping me branch out of my routine (rut) a little bit and try some new things that make life easier/better/more affordable!

Happy weekend everyone! Try something new even if it seems weird to you, you might just be surprised!

One day while in Pagosa Stuart surprised me with red roses and a little stuffed bear holding a bag. He gave it to me rather unceremoniously though just at the house, so I was slightly confused about what it was all about. He told me I had to look in the bag that the bear had and in my head I was thinking, “This had better not be “it.”" Because even if I’m not the most “romantic” gal around I thought he could come up with something better than that!! So I peeked in the bag and beheld a small marble. ??? Then Stuart told me that he thought the marble could represent our steadfast relationship or something to that effect. I honestly don’t recall because I was still thinking, “What in the world is he doing??” Turns out that bear did come with a very special gift, but he didn’t want to use it that way so he came up with his own plan.

After that we went to dinner at a fun Mexican place and then enjoyed walking around on the main street in the frosty night air. Came back still not engaged, but I wasn’t worried. I didn’t want him to propose with a stuffed bear OR in a public restaurant. I knew he could do better than that!

On January 6 we had planned to go snow shoeing through Piedra Canyon. We had to use snow shoes for this hike or it would be impossible! I had never done that before so was pretty excited about trying it out. While Stu was out renting our snowshoes he got a ticket for parking in a handicapped space. He managed to talk his way out of it though, good thing for small towns. But it took him quite awhile longer than I expected, so we got a late start out. Still the snowshoeing was TONS of fun once you get the hang of it!

Once we got into the canyon we found a really huge frozen waterfall! I don’t think it’s generally running in the summer, but for some reason there had been a substantial drip going on there during cold season. If you look closely you can see me down at the bottom.

I honestly wasn’t expecting anything this day. It was pretty cold out there, so we hiked (as quickly as possible in snow shoes) through the canyon and back. I was actually pretty tired out by this point, but we’d been having so much fun. I laughed a lot at Stuart as we were trying to get used to the shoes, but I’m sure I made quite the spectacle myself. Once we got back to the trail head we piled back into the truck and started heading back. But at the top, Stu suggested that we stop at the overlook for a minute. I was game, but a little nervous too because the way the snow was piled up it was difficult to tell where the real edge was. So I made sure he wouldn’t go too close to the edge. We did find the rock that we had sat on up in that same place that summer, but it too was covered in a thick layer of snow. Stu suggested that we sit down, but I popped back up again right away. I was already thoroughly cold and didn’t want to park in the snow. So my gallant knight took off his snow jacket and spread it on the rock for me. Little did I know that it gave him an opportunity to fumble in the inside pocket for “something.” Suddenly Stuart sank to his knees in the snow in front of me and said, “Rachel Zahn, will you marry me?” and he pulled out a ring box!!!

(Now I have to pause here for a moment to tell you that he had been doing his level best to convince me that there was no way he could have a ring. I was fine with that. “It’s not the pebble it’s the penguin” that counts. I wasn’t hard to convince because I knew he was a “poor college boy.” No problem. A ring would be nice, but not necessary to an engagement. We already knew we were going to be married. A proposal would make it official, anything more is just bling. Nice bling, but just bling. Over the break that we had spent together already he had mentioned a couple of times how difficult it would be for him to get a ring. He even went so far as to tell me a lot of jewelers are closed around Christmas. Later when I thought about it I was like, “Wait, that’s got to be their busiest season!!” But at the time I didn’t think much of it, because I really wasn’t expecting a ring. Ha!)

So on the edge of the world as I looked at this ring box my mind was reeling to an extent trying to figure out this “trick.” Ha ha! As he fumbled to open it, because his poor hands were nearly frozen, I had “figured out” that there would be another marble in this box. And while I thought that would be a pretty dirty trick, that was what I was ready for. Turns out as he finally got it open that there was a BEAUTIFUL diamond ring in a platinum setting sparkling up at me!!! At that point my mouth became unhinged and I started blabbering questions like, “Where’d you get that?” “Where did that come from?” “I thought you couldn’t get a ring!?” Until finally with a big smile on his face he asked again, “So are you going to marry me!” It was only then that I realized that I hadn’t answered him yet! I replied with a great big yes, and then we wrestled my big mitten off and put that beautiful “bling” on my left ring finger! Wow!! I still sometimes just stare at that ring, and think of all the love it represents. It’s such a simple setting, but to me it means so much!!! Well after that we uh…. shook hands (???) See?

Just kidding, we shared a special kiss. I’m so glad that the only man I’ve ever kissed has been my husband! I used to tell people that I wouldn’t kiss someone unless I knew that we would be married, and some just looked at me like I was a loony, but I don’t have any regrets or memories to vie with the wonderful man I get to spend my life with, and I wouldn’t trade that!!

Stu had to go back to school for his final semester, and then when he was through with that, he DID work at Camp On Wheels, just like he told me he would. The separation of that semester and most of the summer was the hardest that I had EVER known!! I had no idea just how badly I could miss someone! But after he was done with camp, Stu got married that summer too! Funny how even though I ‘messed up’ his plans, they still turned out right.

We were married in Albuquerque on Aug 6, 2005, and the inscription inside my wedding band says “Buddy System.”

Hard to believe I’ve drawn out this saga over 9 posts!! Hey, I’m pretty good at keeping people in suspense after all.

Eventually I was done with work at camp. It was all packed and shipped off to it’s various locations, and everyone moved away leaving a sad lonely place where there was once so much. It was a hard time for me and the others involved, but by the end I was ready to “move on” for sure. Stuart had a hand in helping me move on. I was certainly ready to move on with him!! And now that I was “home” we were free to talk every day which we did as much as his busy school schedule would allow.

Well one thing happened while I was still at camp. The camp director had gone to BJU for recruitment that Fall, and I had neglected to tell him that we weren’t really “telling” people about Stu and me. So he accidentally blabbed to one of Stuart’s good friends and that created a little “drama” ha ha ha ha!! I have to tell you I was more amused than anything and Stuart was too. The only down side was now he had to be subjected to some of his friends “warning” him about me. As if he didn’t already know I was dangerous! Ha!! No it was more the kind of foolishness that people in Bible school will come up with like, “You’re going to have trouble over what version of the Bible to use in your home!” and “What WILL you teach your children about the Bible.” and other nonsensical and nonessential things like that. Oh and since I was such a ‘free spirit’ they just knew that it did not bode well for Stuart because I simply couldn’t be a “submissive” wife. I’ll go on record as saying that even though I know WHO you all are and HOW you plotted against my happiness, I have forgiven you. God’s ways are so much more awesome than YOURS anyway!! Ah ha ha ha!!

I told you that the topic of marriage did naturally come up in one of our conversations. Because I “knew” and had known since our “car talk” that we WOULD BE MARRIED, I honestly don’t remember the specific time that it came up the first time. However, we had multiple talks about it and I do distinctly remember one conversation that totally cracks me up now! We were making lists, I think Stu was even typing them on his computer while we talked, of the “pros and cons” of getting married!!! Ha ha ha ha!! Makes me laugh now to think of it. And maybe it was the pros and cons of getting married the NEXT summer or something, but either way the cons list was so short there was really no point, and how could we expect anything else? So we were pretty determined already that were going to get married. Now to convince our families….

Stuart DID convince his parents to have him fly into ABQ at Christmas Break, and then they would be coming down to pick him up. Good plan! When I picked him up from the airport I guess we had our “first date” cause we went to Cracker Barrel for dinner. Stu spent a couple/few days with our family before his family came to get him. My mom was so nervous and freaked out about the whole thing it still cracks me up to think about it. Stuart took Dad “out to lunch” one day and I can still remember just how much “floor pacing” my Mom did during that time, as if she were afraid that Dad would chew him up and spit him out or something if he brought up the topic of marriage!! Although I suppose I can’t really blame her because a point she brought out the other day was that this was only the SECOND time they had ever met Start. He made a good second impression, let me tell ya! It was during this short visit before he went home that he told me he loved me for the first time!! I knew it already, but was happy that he had waited to tell me in person even though he’d been wanting to say it over the phone for some time. I was pretty prompt in my reply that I loved him too!

The meeting of the parents went well. We went to a very loud restaurant where you could hardly have any decent conversation anyway, so it was great! All of our parents were nervous, well the moms at least, but we were cool as cucumbers the whole time. When you finally ‘know’ and are confident in that, other parts of the process, like having your parents meet or meeting parents, doesn’t seem so scary. Stu went back to CO with his parents, and I was sad to see him go, but glad to be having Christmas with my family. By this time we all pretty much knew that it would be our last “family Christmas” and we had a good time even though my heart was already in Colorado with Stuart.

Soon after Christmas, in fact I think it was the next day, I was going to drive up to spend time with Stuart and his family. Everyone knew that “sometime” during that visit we would get engaged, but NOONE but Stuart knew exactly when or where…..

We did some of our favorite thing, hiking, while we were together over the break. This was a hike through some canyon in the Manzano mountains while Stu was at our house.

This was the Botanical Gardens in Albuquerque where they have a cool “lights” walk. It started snowing while we were out there. PERFECT!! Snow is always so romantical! I know it’s blurry, but you get the idea.

At the frozen Treasure Falls near Pagosa

Still at Treasure, but we’re looking at the Falls (are they still called falls if it’s frozen and not falling??)

Stu and I left camp together and drove our way to Albuquerque. We listened to our favorite CD a few more times, had more talk. It was a fun trip but still harder to be as chipper for both of us because we knew this was the end. When we got to town we had dinner at Cracker Barrel together, and then my mom insisted that we come by their house so she could meet Stuart. She was determined to meet the guy I had been spending so much time with even though I kept telling her that we were just buds! I was going to be living with my Grandma again when I got done with camp, so the plan was that we’d stay over there that night since she had a spare bed. Well, we went to my parents house, and Stu drank a huge glass of grape juice while he entertained my parents and brother with stories about his WAR travels and such. It wasn’t a long visit because Stu needed to get to bed since he was driving all day the next several days. When we left though suddenly a Wendy’s frosty just sounded SOOOOO good, so we stopped to grab a couple of those.

Once we did get to my Grandma’s house we decided to finish watching a movie on Stu’s computer while we ate our frosty. Can you tell we were stalling?? Stu told me that he’d show me how to play a game called “Lazy man’s mercy.” I knew he was just making something up because he and his dad had this basket ball game they called “lazy man’s 21″ and I still have no idea how that works. But after the movie he took hold of my hand and just held it. THAT was lazy man’s “mercy” ha ha ha!! The “girlfriend” alarm kinda went off in my head so I made some joke about it, and then asked him if he was ready to go inside. We were still in the car out in front of the house. He said very definitely “No!” and then came that awkward silence that I told you about earlier. Turns out we were both wrestling with our thoughts. I was thinking, “Okay, well what now?” and he was really trying to figure out what to do. He finally gave himself the same advice that he always gave other guys who came to him with “girl issues” and that was “GO FOR IT!”

The next words out of his mouth I will NEVER forget! He kept staring straight ahead out the car window, but he said, “Ya know, you’ve really messed up my life.” Wow! Interesting way to forge ahead for sure. I told him I didn’t mean to. He went on to say that he had everything all figured out, how he was going to get married, and what he was going to do and yadda yadda, then I came along and now it was all messed up. The he told me, “I don’t know if I like you, but I do know I like things about you.” Another interesting line, but I knew what he was saying, and since I still hadn’t really responded about what I really thought, he was probably hedging his bets.

Well, that conversation may have started out strangely, but it opened up a door that I never thought would happen. We ended up talking outside in the car till about 4am!!! And by that time Stuart had found out that he DID indeed like me. And I very happily let him know that I liked him too!

I felt bad after the fact because I realized that my Grandma had been worrying most of the night because we never “showed up.” And looking back we should have just had our conversation inside, but who can think clearly at a time like that?? We did go inside and Grandma was kind enough to fix us a pancake and bacon breakfast then we went to our rooms and sacked out for a couple of hours. Stuart still had to drive back to South Carolina where, he assured me, he would no longer have a girlfriend. He teasingly calls me a “home wrecker” but I remind him that he had the first move! It was so strange to me that after that one open and honest conversation about how we really felt about each other we both “knew” that we were meant to be together. I had heard people say that before, “When you meet the one you’ll “just know.”" But in my dating experiences I found that to be so frustrating. Because the guys certainly seemed to “just know” but I never did. Now it made sense. All I can say is God works it out, and I did indeed know that Stuart was “the one and only” for me!! We did not mention marriage in that conversation, or any conversations for quite awhile after that, but we both did know.

Now the tricky part was telling my family the next day. Ha! I had been working so hard to make them believe that we were just friends and that’s all there was to it, and now, 12 hours later I had to convince them that there might be something there after all. Stuart and I decided that we still were not “dating” but by then who needed it? Besides it was totally long distance for us after he left for school. I had experienced long distance relationships before as well, but nothing like this one. I can almost say that I was nearly obsessed thinking about Stuart all the time!

I went back to camp and he got busy “breaking up” at school and we talked as much as we could and e-mailed a great deal. Then one day, out of the blue, the topic of marriage did come up!

To be continued…

I know! 2 whole posts in one day!! But if I’m ever going to get through all of this I need to hurry up!!

We headed back to camp the next day for the “Staff Appreciation Banquet.” I was extremely NOT looking forward to it this year, because I knew it was going to be a tough time for everyone since it was the very last. Like I said, I don’t like to cry, so I wasn’t too happy about sailing through this emotional day with all the rest of the staff. I didn’t cry, by the way, but my throat hurt like crazy from trying not to. Anyway, on our way back to camp Stu’s car got a flat tire, so we were kind of late to the whole shindig anyhow.

After it was all FINALLY over, I made a bee-line back to my cabin to change and escape! I didn’t know where I was going to go, but I knew I was getting out of there. As I was putting on my shoes, thinking I’d hike to Muddy Creek Falls again or something, Stu pulled up to my cabin in his car to deliver my suitcase. As he brought it in he asked, “Do you want to go hike Rabbit Ears?” My reply was something like “YES!!! Let’s get out of here!” And off we went. That was a very needed therapy hike for us both. As emotionally attached as we were to TWR some of the “last things” of that summer just felt like pouring salt in a wound, so it was very good to get away! We were silly on that hike. I recall singing “Zipity-doo-da” as we walked through the woods. And I kept him guessing about a riddle that I told him but refused to give any hints. Once we climbed up the actual “ears” part of the pass we sat on top and chatted while the sun started setting. It’s a great view from up there all the way around! At one point Stu started talking about our friendship, and he likened us to the kids on that movie “My Girl.” Ha! Well, that sent a message to me LOUD AND CLEAR! And the message was, “we really are “just friends” so don’t get any ideas in your head!” See… I had already figured out, and even admitted to myself (but no way was I going to admit it to another breathing soul!!) that I “liked” Stuart. Hmmmm… perhaps he knew something about the ‘buddy system’ that I didn’t! So when he started talking about our friendship like that it kinda hurt inside in a way because I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that there really was no chance for me. It didn’t surprise me, but still, ya’d like to think that a person you’ve come to really admire and care for could feel that way about you too. So I just kind of laughed it off, and made some light joke about it or something.

Turns out I was WAY OFF on my interpretation of his meaning. He told me later that he was actually trying to tell me that he WAS interested in me!! I had a mental block though because I knew he still had this girlfriend, even if they hadn’t really spoken for awhile. With such an emotional day behind us it’s probably good that the conversation just kind of ended with that. It’s not good to make decisions when you’re coming off of something so emotionally draining. So with a new resolve to be sure not to let anything “show” as far as how much I liked Stuart, we continued to “hang out” and hike and talk, like always. I told myself over and over that I couldn’t “let” myself fall for him because once the summer was over I knew I wouldn’t be seeing him again. EVER!

The rumor mill at camp started spinning of course, because people finally started to notice how much time Stu and I spent together. Oh, I have to tell you about “the note.” Somehow nearer the beginning of summer than the end I wrote a note on a page in Stu’s notebook that he had left unattended. I don’t even remember what the original note said, but it was something sarcastic or funny. He replied back to me on the same paper that he stuck in my Bible when I wasn’t looking. Well…. not to one to back down from a challenge I sent it right back to him with something else written on it. Eventually some disgusting tube of “sample” lip gloss that one of us found on the ball field got involved as well and the note and the tube went back and forth till there was basically no room on that paper to write. I even got the gal’s lead counselor to let me sneak it into his cabin during cabin check one morning!! The note eventually got tossed because I think it ended up going through the washer or something, but it was a fun way of flirting at the time…. though we wouldn’t have admitted to it being flirting, oh no! But people were getting suspicious of course and started asking dumb questions like, “What’s up with Stuart and Rachel.” I would like to go on record as saying that absolutely NO ONE asked me about it at all. Stu did get questions though, and the reply was always, we’re just friends, hanging out. I mean, if we’re not going to admit it to ourselves or each other, we’d certainly not be admitting to any one else that we liked each other!

There are probably zillions of other details I could put in about that summer. We played frisbe golf in the rain, jumped off the dock into the lake, drank coffee on the roof of the lodge. But to keep things moving, the summer eventually did come to a close. Stuart had to head back to school for his senior year, back to his girlfriend, was what I was thinking. And I was going to stay at camp through the Fall to help pack up and move out since I had no school OR career to go back to. Before that started though I was going to have a week or 2 off, and since my car was still out of good running order due to the deer attack, Stuart offered to let me ride to ABQ with him since he had to drive through there anyway. It was going to be our last ramble together, and even though I was sad because in the back of my mind I knew this was really and truly “the end” I was still glad for one last trip…

Well, there were plenty more memorable hikes after that one. We hiked to the meadows and Rocky Point more times than I can say, and let me tell you that it is CREEPY to hike the “back way” to Rocky Point in the dark! We hit the Meadows and went the opposite direction up Muddy Creek once and found some pretty cool canyon like hiking. We hiked the Flat Tops, and Fish Creek Falls. We climbed the tower on, oh I can’t remember the name of the ridge. Buffalo something maybe? That was fun!

On all of our hikes we’d just talk about “stuff” nothing intense or anything because well, he had a girlfriend. But we did get to know “the real us” because there wasn’t that ‘performance pressure’ associated with dating that I mentioned before. We were just being pals and having a lot of fun together. Sometimes we talked about our ideas about dating, because I had told Stuart that I was done with it. My philosophy was that you could get to know people in a much more “low stress” way by developing a friendship, and then if that blossomed into something “romantic” then it was fine, and if it didn’t then no big deal, you still had a friend. Well, he was rather skeptical of this line of thinking, and began to call my ideas the “Buddy System 2.0″ ha ha ha ha! He’s a computer guy, what can I say? He didn’t agree with my ’system’ because he thought then, as he thinks now, that it’s IMPOSSIBLE for gals and guys to be “just friends” without one or both of them becoming “interested” in the other. I told you we had a huge conversation about this with some friends of ours, but before that we talked about this subject repeatedly on our various fun adventures and rambles. He was trying to persuade me out of thinking like I did, but that wasn’t going to happen because of my previous dating experiences. I didn’t know why it should matter anyway, it’s not like dating hadn’t worked for him. Or so I thought…..

One week in that last summer was especially different because it had such low numbers that a lot of staff weren’t necessary. Stuart and I both got permission to leave camp to visit our families. That in itself I still can hardly believe because we were both team leaders! Weird! But it worked out for me drive down as far as Stuart’s house with him and then my brothers would come pick me up. See, I had a run in with my car and a deer… neither one did very well after that, so I “needed” a lift. The drive down was a lot of fun! We stopped at some steak place for dinner, and Stuart bought me a meal!! Ha ha ha! Should have tipped me off, but I just shrugged it off and said I’d get the meal the next time. We had this CD that we listened to all the time that summer. It was a King’s Singers one that I had from somewhere, and it had a bunch of random songs like the “Circle of Life” song and “Kissed by a Rose” among others. We would laugh at the random lyrics of the songs and “philosophize” about what it all REALLY meant. I still love that CD even though it’s not one I listen to often. I met Stu’s family again, I had already met them once before that summer. My brothers made it up to get me and we spent the rest of that week apart.

However…

I got daily phone calls from Stuart while we were at our homes that week!! My mom kept asking me why in the world he was calling me. I kept shrugging it off and explaining it away that he was bored. Plus he told me that he’d tried several times to call his girlfriend and could never get ahold of her. Hmmmm….. guess he wasn’t too persistent with that.

I went up to Pagosa a day before we had to be back to camp so that we could do some hiking. That was Stuart’s idea, but I thought it was a pretty good plan! We hiked to a place called 4 Mile Falls, it was great! Except I had new shoes and got blisters, but it was well worth it! Then we drove out to a great look out over Piedra Canyon. I love that area! There are so many lovely spots!! I didn’t know it at the time, but that overlook would come back into “our story” again in a very important way!

Some photos from that trip. This is an overlook on the way down the pass to Pagosa.

The “infamous” Piedra Canyon overlook.

Stu took both of these pics. This was before we were in the “digital” age of cameras, so forgive the quality.

Summer 2004 began with a bang! As in, I got sick almost right away. Bah-Humbug! So one of the very first weekends of camp, while I was recouping from my cold, a small group of us decided to hike to Muddy Creek Falls instead of go to an activity in Denver. There was almost no one left on camp that weekend, but the 6 or so of us who took the hike. It was a TON of fun! I still wasn’t feeling 100%, but was well enough to thoroughly enjoy the day! Stuart was on the hike too, and besides a quick detour to call his girlfriend from the Meadows, he was pretty entertaining the whole time. This is a shot from that day. We are actually standing on a ledge right above the falls.

I had never been to that waterfall before even though this was my 4th year working at TWR! So glad we went, and since it was the beginning of the summer, the creek was still REALLY full from run off. Awesome!

As the summer progressed we starting hiking a lot!! In fact, not long into the summer we were all informed that TWR would not just be moving locations, but would actually be closing permanently. That was a very very sad day for a lot of people, but it did make me determined to enjoy every last bit of it. That meant that I wanted to hike all around and see all the sights rather than spend my weekends in Denver or Silverthorn shopping and going to Six-flags. Stu felt the same way, so while we began hiking in groups, it ended up dwindling down to just he and I being hiking buddies. And while we hiked we talked. Not constant chatter, because we were comfortable enough with each other that silence wasn’t awkward, except once and I’ll tell you about that later…

Probably the first really memorable hike was when a group of us went to a tiny church near Grand Junction and on the way back hiked Hanging Lake. I had hiked it before when I was really young because we used to live right in that canyon. Beautiful beautiful spot!! The hike was awesome, and even though there were a lot of people hiking with us, Stu somehow managed to not ever be really far away. It was on that hike that I noticed that somehow his questions and conversation seemed “different.” Always before we were more “just business” kind of bro/sis counselors, and even though we were friends, our joking and conversations pretty much stayed on the surface level. This time though I distinctly recall thinking that his questions seemed more personal. Not in a weird way, but like he was really trying to get to know “the real me.” It was kind of strange, but I just laughed it off to myself. I figured that with camp closing and all people would be nostalgic anyway. Stuart had a girlfriend. One whom he had “casually” mentioned about a million times to EVERYONE at camp, me included, and who as far as I knew, he was planning to marry! That was what kept things “safe” for me. Cause like I said, I was done with dating. I was very willing to develop friendships, but no way jose, to the dating thing. So as far as I was concerned I could be “buddies” with Stuart safely because there was no danger that he’d be interested in me!

Or so I thought…..

It was while we were sitting and waiting for the rest of our group to come down from Hanging Lake, (we beat them all because we ran down, crazy!!) that he struck up the topic of Camp On Wheels. This was a camp idea that Stu’s home pastor was trying to get going once he learned that TWR was closing. Stu was already determined that he was going to work there the next summer and was trying to convince me that I should as well. I put the breaks on and said, “Wait a minute, I thought you said you were getting married next summer!” My mind can take me back to those moments when we were talking. It almost seems frozen in time. I can nearly hear the sounds of the cicadas in the trees, and I can recall the shadow of the canyon wall across the dammed up river. The cool smell of the water, and the breeze blowing through the few trees, bugs and birds flitting across the surface of the river. The sunlight high up on the canyon, and the cool shade where we sat at one of those rubber covered picnic tables. I can still remember his reply to this day, “Well I might or I might not, but either way I’m working at camp!” Ha! Guess what, he DID get married the next summer….

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Thanks to a sturdy super glue fix I can actually type now! I was trying to spare my pinkie, but found that typing with just 4 fingers on my right hand wasn’t working so swell. There’s nearly no pain associated with my cut since I glued it last night so hopefully this will work out fine! Besides did you know that the vast majority of your typing is done with the fingers on your LEFT hand?? In fact I read that the left had does 56% of the typing and that, “More than 3,000 English words utilize QWERTY’s left hand alone.” That is if you’re typing correctly instead of hunting and pecking. Just a little Jeopardy trivia for ya today.

But on to the story…

At the end of our second summer both working at TWR we were all hit with a bomb shell! The camp had been sold and would be moving to a new location!! Everyone’s heart sank. We know, now more than ever, that a camp is NOT the place where it is held, but the people involved with it, but even so we were all pretty in love with that place. There just isn’t another “Lake Agnes” to be had out there, and it was hard to let it go….. still is, actually. But it did spur quite a few of us to determine that we were going to be back “next summer” for the last summer in that spot. Stu and I were no exception. In fact I was so determined that I stayed on that fall, since I gave up teaching to work at camp anyway, and worked as op-staff for the fall and winter camp activities. Stuart had to go back to school, and surprise surprise, started seriously dating the gal he had been writing all summer. This wasn’t a problem for me since I wasn’t interested in Stu and because I was pretty busy myself! The Fall season at camp was CRAZY! But fun!

I worked temp jobs where I could find them the rest of the year when I wasn’t at camp, and it worked out great. Initially I had told the director that I didn’t need to counsel that last summer. I had counseled for 3 summers, and thought that perhaps being on op-staff that last one would be a good switch. I didn’t “feel” quite right about that though, so I called him back and let him know that while I was willing to do “whatever,” I thought that I had better counsel again. At that time he didn’t really want to switch me, so I just waited to see what would happen. Low and behold, it worked out for me to team lead again, only THIS time I would be on the BLUE team!! After 2 summers on Red, I tell ya, it was a hard switch, but I found out I’d be team leading with Stuart. So we’d be bro/sis for the second time in 3 years. I could deal with that.

I began another short dating relationship that I can pretty much only classify as “experimental” that spring. I think dating (here I go again) is a difficult place to be. Some people relish it, and just love the dating life and all that excitement. I for one never did. Oh, some of it was fun of course, but nearly all of it was difficult for me. I’ve since come to the conclusion that I’m just not social enough for that method of getting to know people. In my experience guys were a LOT of fun to be friends with, but not so much to be “boyfriends.” For me, as soon as you slapped that label on things, the fun went away, and all you got to replace it with was pressure. Pressure to be the “perfect one” and always do and say the right thing, pressure to be “in love” right away, and have stars in your eyes, and never want to do anything with anyone but that person. Just lots of pressure. Ick! Didn’t like it, still don’t and probably never will. So needless to say, (obviously) that short relationship was doomed for failure, but I still learned through it. It ended shortly into the summer, and by the time I knew it needed to end I had decided that I was DONE with dating FOREVER!!!!

And I was right! Just so you know…. Stuart and I NEVER dated!

Stuart thought that the part in my second Buddy post when I mentioned the VanGelderens could be misconstrued, so I’d like to clear it up. I in no way meant that Stuart didn’t like that family or traveling with them. I think I had too many thoughts going on at one moment, but just to make it clear, we both highly respect the VanGelderens and their ministry. I was not in any way referring to them when I said that God uses people and circumstances that you don’t always like to teach us things. Hope that helps!

The second summer that Stuart and I worked together we were not bro/sis counselors.  We were actually on opposite teams as he had been moved to the Blue team.  This meant war of course!  ;-)  I went into the summer still dating the “eharmony guy” as he will probably forever be known.  I had finished  up my teaching contract at PCA and moved all of my junk worldly possessions back to NM where my parents now lived.  I didn’t know what I was going to do exactly but I did know that camp was where I was supposed to be at that time.  Stuart came back to camp ready for his second summer of counseling.  Second summers are the best because you know at least in part what to expect and you can really learn to just focus on your campers and do your best to help them along.  Stuart had a great summer even though he had a LOT of jr. high cabins.  He won the coveted “spark plug” award that year.  And just in case you are wondering, NO, I never did win it!  I’m not bitter about that though, to me it seemed like more of a popularity contest than anything, but I am proud of Stu for winning it!!  He’ll ALWAYS be more popular than me anyhow.

Since we weren’t bro/sis that summer we saw quite a bit less of each other than the summer before, but we did have several memorable conversations.  First, he found out that I was dating someone and absolutely REFUSED to leave it alone till he found out all about it!  Guys at camp can be the biggest busy bodies, I tell ya!  He kept pulling out the old, “But I’m your brother, you should tell me.” line and so finally I did, but I warned him upon pain of death that he was not to talk to ANYONE about it.  He promised and as far as I know he didn’t blab.  He did tease me about dating an “axe murderer” and the like though.  Don’t know why people can’t figure that you can meat nice people online as well as creeps, but anyway…..  Stu told me about this “gal” that he was occasionally writing to and how it irritated him that a friend of his asked her to artist series.  Ha ha ha!!  At that point they were still just in the “writing” stage of things, but he did a good job of staying focused and didn’t get mixed up in those “camp romances” that are so popular.  I seem to remember some kind of “pact” between 3 or so of the guys to “not like” girls at camp that year…. I don’t really have to tell you how that went!  Ha ha ha ha!!!

About half way through the summer I took a weekend trip to Chicago to spend some time with the “eharmony guy.”  The trip had been planned before summer started, so I couldn’t really “get out of it” even though I was REALLY REALLY REALLY not looking forward to going.  By that time I did know that this guy was not “the one” and I knew I had to tell him once and for all.  And lest you think I just showed up and dropped the bomb on him, I didn’t.  I had already given him fair warning, but he still wanted to see me.  So I went for his bro’s wedding, talk about awkward!  Ugh!  Some people tend to think that if you’re the one doing the “breaking up” that it’s no big deal to you and it doesn’t bother you as much as the one being “dumped.”  I would like to officially disagree with that for the record!  I didn’t date a lot, but each time I did date someone seriously, I was the one doing the “dumping” and I hated it!  This time wasn’t any exception.  It went well, and I don’t think there were bitter feelings on either side, but I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was the right thing to do even though it was uncomfortable.  I’ll also just tell you that I greatly dislike dating.  I mean, I like it now, cause I get to date the man of my dreams, but I grew to really hate the process and the labels and all that junk that goes with it.  So I started to develop my own “system” which will come to play an important role in “our story” pretty soon!

So I think that besides Steve Stodola the only other person who really knew why I was going to Chicago for the weekend was Stuart.  Because of the way things went that weekend, I caught a stand by flight and was able to get back to camp on Sunday night rather than Monday.  Since he knew when I was supposed to be back Stuart was surprised when I walked into the dining hall to write my letter to the family who supported me at camp. (Cant remember what we called those things???)  He was in there writing his, and so we chatted for a few min.  I told him, briefly, what happened, and he just kind of looked at me weird.  I don’t really blame him because I was laughing.  Seems pretty heartless and I’m sure that’s what he was thinking, but I told him, “There are times in life where your choices are to either laugh or cry, and I don’t like crying!”  Secretly, I’m sure, he was glad that I was done with the axe-murderer-psycho-eharmony-guy!

He didn’t know just how happy he was but he’d soon find out!