RazNoggle

Today is September 11. Do you remember? If you don’t, just hop on Facebook. All your friends will remind you. I remember, but I don’t want to dwell. Maybe it’s good maybe it’s bad, but I don’t want to spend the day in gloom because of the past. I still remember…. and it still hurts…. and we will ALWAYS remember. But we are moving on. God still has a plan that never was marred by wicked men on the 11th of September 2001! I look forward even as the ‘memory’ of the day draws my mind back. Yes, I remember where I was when I heard the horrible news. Yes, I remember how I felt at that time. Yes, there was fear, anxiety, uncertainty and sorrow.

But I don’t want to live there again. Not even for a day. I can’t see what tomorrow holds or even the next few hours of today. All of those emotions could rule my life if I choose to let them. I won’t!

I must look forward with hope for the future. And I don’t need to worry or fear what it is. I know Who holds it, and I know He is good!

So while yes, this is a day to REMEMBER, don’t get stuck in the memory. Be SO thankful for the military men and women giving up their time, their families and their lives so that we can live in comparative security. Be thankful that we had a president who had the courage to do the hard thing and fight for our country. Be thankful that 9 years later we have still had no more attacks like that. And look to the future with optimism. Don’t get dragged down by the coverage of this day, and those who would try to add more terror and drama to our current lives. Don’t listen to them!

Turn the T.V. off, hug the ones you love, and enjoy THIS day! Because THIS is the day the Lord has made!! Rejoice and be glad in it!

As I’ve been thinking through our whole schedule and routine and such that having extra, non-family, people in our house requires I’ve been reluctant to pattern our days after a daycare routine. I’ve worked in some and one of the things I always told myself was that there was NO WAY I’d put my kids in them! Ha! I’m so thankful that God has allowed me to be a SAHM to my monkeys! Yes, there are dreary days where all I want to do is escape to the tippy-top of a mountain with some coffee and my journal and NO KIDS! But even on those days, in the back of my mind I’m still sooooooo happy that I get to be the one to spend the most time with my babies. Some people don’t have that choice, even though they’d like it, and others simply make the choice for daycare or preschool for their kids. They are NOT wrong!! I know that they want the best for their family and kids as well and are making their choices based on that. It’s easy to judge others and say they should be doing such-n-such, especially when it comes to home and family. I don’t know why we feel that it’s okay to do that. None of us has it all “figured out” and we certainly can’t make “right choices” for someone else’s family or kids. The pride!!! I have to remind myself of that frequently though because I too easily fall into that same awful mistake!

Anyway, that was mostly free. Based on my experience in daycare/preschool (and one of them was actually a REALLY good preschool!) I know that I don’t want to run my HOME that same way. BUT upon further reflection I know that the reason that they do things very structured and in a routine manner (at least at the good preschool, the other one I worked at was SADLY lacking in good management and structure and the kids were WILD and the “teachers” frazzled. It was NOT a good situation!!) is to keep things moving smoothly for the kids and the people working with them.

So I’ve decided to “steal” some of the concepts I learned at the “good” preschool to use with my own kids and especially on the days when the gals are over as well. This is the last week that I’ll have them till sometime after Baby shows up. I’m happy about that hoping beyond hope that perhaps I can get some good rest in next week. Unless of course, she decides to show up tomorrow on MY birthday!! Wouldn’t that be fun?? But I digress…
The main concepts that I am going to use are:
1) Praise and reward for the small things.
This concept looks like this. I ask everyone to clean up before we have a story time (oh and I’m going to use story time throughout the day as a transition for many things. I want to be doing more reading with them anyway, so this is a perfect place for it!) as I watch them clean up, I’ll encourage right attitudes and speedy cleaning by pointing out the kids who are displaying that behavior. THEN when it’s done I’ll choose the “best” cleaner-uper and then THEY will get to choose the story. See?? Using rewards such as getting to choose the story or the show or getting to go outside first, whatever, are rewards that I can use so that they don’t get used to getting a sticker for EVERYTHING!
2) Random stickers for desirable behavior!
Here we go with the positive reinforcement! I realize that I’m really week in this area. I kind of feel that since they SHOULD be obeying and having kind words and such that when they don’t they receive negative consequences. It’s how I roll, I know, but it doesn’t mean that I can’t change as well. So while I won’t back off on dealing out the appropriate consequences when necessary, I also want to work much harder on rewarding the right choices they make. So I bought a booklet of about a zillion stickers from Wal-Mart this week and have already had some good success in passing them out. The glee on kid’s faces just for getting to put a sticker on a sticker chart is amazing!! I need to capitalize on that for sure!!!
3) Activity time
We already do room time during the day in order for the girls and guys to have some separate play time, and me to be able to breath a little easier. The siblings are used to playing with each other all the time, even though I sometimes still have to intervene, it’s not as much as when all 4 are playing together. So while that is helpful in my day I’ve come to the very strong conclusion that it is NOT enough. One of these darling girls has a very domineering personality and likes to “run the show” to the best of her ability. After our long weekend with the lads I was seeing quite a bit of improvement in Qade’s attitude issues. Guess what happened after ONE day of having his “friends” back over? Uh-huh, major digression. As I watched them all playing outside yesterday I could easily pin-point why that behavior was surfacing again. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to blame this little girl. God gave her a STRONG personality and due to different circumstances in her young life, it hasn’t really been controlled, and at 4 yrs old, she can’t be expected to know how to control it all on her own. I know that her parents are working with her, and she has learned that she can’t be “the boss” with me. But she still bosses all the other kids, and even when they are just playing. She is the one who decides what they play and even more HOW they play. That’s where a lot of the attitude comes in. So I want to really limit the time that she gets to be in control. That’s why I’m going to get some “activities” and have assigned play time. They will still get “free play” time during the day and of course while they are outside (for now), but it’s going to be a lot LESS! The past couple of days I’ve had Qade and Danielle sit at the table for a few minutes and practice cutting or coloring, and that is something that they can BOTH do, so they don’t feel segregated, but that is still controlled. See what I mean?? Anyway, I’m hoping that it helps bring a level of peace to our days, and especially to my heart as I get severely irritated when I see my kids being bossed and manipulated. But the attitude issues it brings out are completely unacceptable in our family, so we need to nip that one any way we can. I think if I’m more involved anyway, and have a better game plan for how we use our time during the day, that it will be a help to both Qade and Danielle.

So nothing “happened” yesterday. If it had, you’d be reading a different post with some pictures on it. BUT you’ll just have to have one with only words this time. Hope it’s still worth reading. I’ve come to the conclusion that I will indeed be pregnant forever! Yep, if that Wal-Mart store and grocery shopping with 2 toddlers in tow doesn’t ‘do it’ then I’m convinced nothing will. I’m happy to not be mormon! Can you imagine feeling like this for all eternity?? Not that just believing it makes it so, but I think if that were my beliefs I’d be very tempted to find something else around this time in pregnancy! (completely random… sorry about that!)

Do you remember me talking about the “witching hour?” Well, I discovered that I am NOT alone!! Not that I thought I was, but I actually found a blog post from someone else who also calls that afternoon slump for kids the witching hour!! Ha! You’ve got to read this because it’s good! Besides if you find yourself dealing with cranky-pants kids in the late afternoon, or any time of day really, some of these suggestions could be helpful to you. I too need to implement some of these for sure. The ones I’m specifically going to do are:

1) Limit my own screen time in the afternoons.
I need to do this anyway! I know that when I’m “engaged” in my cyber world, or even working on photos my attention for my kids is very limited and patience even more so because I feel like I shouldn’t have to be interrupted. Very selfish, and makes the witching hour worse because then I, along with my children, start acting like a….. well, you get the picture.

2) Sensory play!
This kind of falls into my ideas of the structured days. I need to be WAY more proactive about having activities for them to do besides just the typical “go play” that I fall back on way too often. I have also noticed that my lads WANT to be by me/on me during those rough patches. It’s, of course, the exact time of day where I least like to be touched because I feel like I’ve been mauled by children all day. Being 9 mo pregnant doesn’t help with that feeling either. Ha!
So what I need to do is make 4pm STORY time! Then the kids can cuddle with me while I read. After that I will have some specific activity for them. Coloring or play dough at the table will keep them somewhat contained while occupied, and hopefully give me a bit of time to get dinner well on the way. I’m looking forward to this because I know that it’s something I NEED to be doing more of and have just been dragging my feet.

I have a list of “manipulative” type toys that I want to get from Amazon during the time that I have my “baby break” from watching the girls. They are going to be building/thinking/moving types of activities, and they will not be for “normal play” but rather for activity time. That way I can use them to assign each child a specific activity that they will play with for awhile before letting them go back to playing together. I have certainly noticed that having separate play times helps everyone in this house function better. Each day either the boys or the girls have “room time” in the lad’s room. The girls are slowly adjusting to the idea. They don’t mind when the boys are banished, of course, but when it’s their turn Danielle at least is not really thrilled. I explained to her mom what I was doing though, so they didn’t get the impression that I was “locking away” their lil darlin’s all day. I also suggested that on the girls “room time days” that they be able to bring a special toy from home to play with or something. This week seems to be going well so far! Woo-hoo!!

Basically it boils down to my willingness to be more engaged in parenting these little ones. I honestly admit that this “stage” of kids growth and development isn’t my strong point. I’m not the kind of mom who just revels in getting down on the floor and playing blocks or cars or building things to let them topple them. It’s not my gift. Not saying that I don’t enjoy playing with my kids, but hopefully if you’re a mom too you get what I’m saying. I’m really looking forward to the age/stage when we can do things together like crafts that I don’t have to personally DO for them the whole way, and cooking together without having to wash the kitchen from floor to ceiling and give the kids, plus me, a bath too. Baking cookies, taking them to nursing homes, hiking around outside and knowing they can stay with me, bike rides, family walks that really do go somewhere. Those are things I’m looking forward to. Right now we’re not there, and I have to find my enjoyment in this stage as well. Believe me I am not wishing away these times, they just aren’t the “best” of kid times for me.

So I’m going to “dig in” and put real effort into being more in the moment with the kids as well as finding more creative ways that they can be involved in what I am doing. I know there are ways they can “help” as I go about my household chores and other activities. I’m often reluctant because I know that their help most of the time equals more work for me, but it’s important, and I just need to ‘chill’ as I often tell them! Ha!
There ya have it… my rather rambling post about another post I read that reminded me of another post I wrote. Ha ha ha!! Hey, my brain is functioning rather slowly these days, but sometime I’ll be able to put together 2 coherent sentences again……. I hope!