Here is an “easy” exercise that you can use to make sure that you and your significant other are actually communicating on a day to day basis. This is one of the ideas that Dr. Chapman gave at the conference yesterday. The sad part was that he told us if we do this each day (and it’s not much) we’d be talking more than 50% of married couples do. That’s sad. Stu and I like to talk to each other, but we’re still going to put this into practice. Some days when he comes home from work, and I’ve been busy with the babies, we’re tired, and even though we missed each other all day, we sometimes struggle to find something to say. So this is what you do. Each person shares 3 things that happened in their day (apart from each other) and, here’s the important part, how those things made them feel. 
It doesn’t have to be all deep and difficult, just something simple like, “Sweetie, today the baby barfed all over the carpet and I had to spend an hour cleaning him and the mess. I felt irritated and grossed out especially when the carpet cleaner wouldn’t work right!” See? That was easy. 
Plus it can bring up other discussion items like “the broken carpet cleaner” ha ha! So if you do that each day you’ll learn lots of things about your spouse and also feel like a part of what they were doing while you were away from each other. Happy talking!
Archive for January, 2008
Communication
01.20
Wuv, twoo wuv
01.20
We had an AMAZING time today at the marriage conference by Dr. Gary Chapman! He’s the author of “The Five Love Languages“. The conference was not him just talking through the book. He did mention the languages, but for the most part the sessions were extremely practical ways to strengthen and grow your marriage. The sessions topics were on communication, dealing with conflict, expressing love, how to be the change your marriage needs and so on. It was a day just PACKED with wonderful information and EXTREMELY practical ways to make your good marriage better, or to salvage a failing one. Stu and I got there with high expectations, and we were not in the least disappointed! Some advice he gave us to help keep our marriages healthy and growing was 1) to attend some kind of marriage event once a year and 2) to share a marriage book together every year. We think those are great ideas! I just wanted to pass at least that along, so that maybe you all could use them too. Qade got to spend the day with his grandparents, and they all had a spectacular time. He slept good, ate good, played a bunch and all around thrilled his doting grandma and grandpa! I missed him because this was the longest we’d ever left him. He was happy to see us when we did get back and greeted us with laughter! How nice! I was a little concerned about his sleeping last night because of the experience we’ve had the last couple times we traveled. Yesterday morning when I got him up I started talking to him about how we were going to Oma’s and how he was going to sleep so well, and we were just going to think happy thoughts. He did beautifully! I was sooooo happy! All in all, it’s been a great day! I LOVE spending time with my husband, and I love getting happy smiles from my bubby. Hope you are all having a great weekend!
*YAWN*
01.18
Uh-huh, That’s what me and Qade have been doing all day! I’ve never seen the poor boy yawn so much! Oh well, it’s all his own fault anyway. See, last night started out as blissful as usual. Qade went to sleep at his normal bedtime, no fuss, just plain old sleep time. I went to bed too, just a little later. However around 12am Qade stopped sleeping and started crying. Sometimes all he needs is for one of us to go set him back down or a quick snuggle and he’s back to la-la land. Last night it worked just like that… the only problem was he wouldn’t stay in la-la land for longer than about 20 minutes!! Our bedroom is upstairs and his down, so I was “tripping” down and up the steps several times. Finally around 2ish I decided that it was completely not worth it. By the time I’d get back up stairs from getting him to sleep and then actually relax enough to start to doze off, he would start up again. ARGH! So my solution was to whisk him out of his bed and for us both to spend what was left of the night in the spare room bed. That way maybe Daddy could get some sleep, and maybe Mommy could catch some zz’s too. Qade actually slept really well once he stopped talking about the “move.” What a cute boy! Even when I’m “slightly” grumpy from lack of sleep, I still think he’s the cutest kid alive, and does such fun stuff! I believe I traced the source of his problem last night to the fact that his 6th tooth has really not “cut” yet. Poor kid. Although I didn’t get as much sleep as usual, I still like to be the “rescue mom” who can make it better. Having a “sleep over” in the spare room was NOT my plan for the night. It’s cold in there, and I miss my main roomie! BUT helping my baby boy feel better, and get some rest that his little body really needs is worth it all in the long run. Today was kinda sleepy, and Sage came over so that threw some extra complications in the way. I didn’t get the floors mopped like I wanted, and I haven’t packed a stitch for the weekend, but all of those are non issues. My Qade needed mommy, and any other “sacrifice” is worth it so that he knows, even in his infancy, that he is a number one priority because we love him. So that’s that for today. I need to stop because I’m getting too mushy, and when I’m tired and mushy, I usually end up crying, and who wants to do that?! Have a fun fun weekend, friends! I may or may not get a chance to post this weekend, but either way I’ll eventually tell you all about our fun conference later! Toodles!
Check this out!
01.12
Okay, I forgot to tell you all to check out my baby hacks blog. It’s tips and tricks for mommies. If you have anything you think would be great to share whether a tip or a product you think is amazing for you as a mom or home maker, just write it up and e-mail it too me. I’ll post it and even give you credit as the author. Enjoy it! It’s at http://babyhacks.blogspot.com/
Any input is welcome!
Lime Green Thursday!!
01.11
I even wore lime green!! Of course that was an accident, because I totally forgot it was Thursday, but it still counts! Anyway today was a good day. I did NOT wake up with a dizzy head so that’s a plus. However I DID wake up at 4:30 which was not a plus, but I eventually got back to sleep and caught a few extra zz’s. The little Sage lad is sick so his mommy took him to the Dr. today. He did eventually come (he has an ear infection- owie!) but not till nearly 2. So before he got here I managed to get the floors swept and mopped. Arg! It’s not fun to mop a floor that NEVER looks mopped! At least I have the security of knowing it’s clean even if it is really old linoleum. Qade’s socks still get filthy while he’s crawling around, but I don’t think that ANY amount of scrubbing or carpet cleaning would resolve that. Baby socks are somehow ionized (I’m sure of it) to attract dirt particles from outer space to come make them filthy. Hee hee. I’m very thankful for washing machines. Well, I did the floor while Qade napped. Oh, it was so cute! I was reading him one of his Beatrix Potter books that we got him for Christmas and he seemed really interested in it! Then suddenly I looked down and he was totally zonked! Ha! It wasn’t even a long story, but we didn’t make it through. So cute! After his nap we took a hike on the road. I wore the backpack today instead of trying to wrestle the stroller against the mud. I LOVE that pack! It’s so awesome! We had a marvelous time! Qade got quite a kick out of watching our shadow keep up with us! The weather was very pretty, the road was very muddy, the pack was VERY heavy by the time we got done with our 2 miles. I now have 2 very uncomfy nickel sized blisters on my heels as souvenirs. But I’d do it again anyway. It feel so good to be outside just doing stuff! After Sage came we still had fun, but it was more challenging to me to try to keep Qade away from the baby. I would prefer that he not catch a cold! I made some creamy mushroom chicken for dinner which we had over rice with spinach and really yummmmmmy biscuits!! Have you ever had the biscuits at Red Lobster? These taste just like them!! WOW! I’ll post the recipe on here later and y’all have GOT to give them a try! So easy and soooo quick. (That’s the only way I cook ha ha!) We watched an episode of “The Cosby Show” season 1 and had some good laughs this evening. Now it’s after 10 and I’m about to turn into a pumpkin so before I do- adieu! (I’m in a weird mood tonight, sorry you all have to suffer for it! )
Crumbs on the carpet
01.10
I long ago decided that I could not be a “by the book” parent. Ha ha ha! For example: last night we were getting a big kick out of watching Qade crawl around. In his “roamings” he found the zwieback toast that he had dropped after his “snack.” There was my first “bad.” Mommy had decided it was more important to go for a walk with her Bub and her man than to sweep up the floor after dinner. So anyway he “discovered” it as if he’d not been munching on it earlier- ha! And even though at snack time it had not been acceptable and therefore thrown down, it was now a prized possession. I learned that Qade CAN crawl with something in his hand! He would alternately crawl around and then sit and munch a bit. I know, some of you are gagging already just thinking about a baby eating something that had been on the floor. True, had we been in a restaurant or someone else’s house, I probably wouldn’t have let him. But these are our floors…. I know (generally) what’s been on them, and I figure he can’t get anything more from the piece of toast that dropped than he does from sucking his thumb once he’s been down there crawling. He had a great time scattering crumbs all over and working on learning to bite. (He’s got 4 teeth so it’s a new experience!) Sure I’ll have to vacuum the mess and I do need to mop again (ALREADY??) since he spilled juice too, but I don’t mind the extra work. The point was we made some good memories, and Qade is learning essentials. No, I won’t let him crawl around with food all the time, but an occasional picnic on the floor won’t hurt.
The walk by the way was great! I got to carry Qade in the new back pack and I was surprised how easy it was!! It was pretty nippy out though and even though we were bundled up, we all had rosy faces when we got back in. We walked about a mile. It was starting to get pretty dark by the time we got back, but we had fun! The cat and dog went with us, Qade talked to them and us a lot of the way. The dog always makes him laugh for some reason. I highly recommend family walks! It’s one thing I really remember from my growin’ up years and something I want our family to do often. It’s such a better choice than sitting “together” to watch T.V. in the evenings. Hopefully we’ll be able to go again tomorrow night. It just depends on when Sage goes home. Take it easy and enjoy Lime Green Thursday!